The stunt isn’t unique for Microsoft’s Windows 7 launch, which in the run-up to Thursday’s introduction has repeated the “seven” theme in multiple publicity events; it launched a giveaway of the new OS for every resident of the Dutch village of Zevenhuizen (”Seven Houses”) and decorated parts of the Spanish village Sietes (”Sevens”) in Windows-themed colors. The campaign contrasts sharply against the more traditional ads of Vista and earlier Windows releases, highlighting Microsoft’s desire to turn around its public image.

In North America, most of the developer’s less conventional advertising has centered around promoting Windows 7 house parties and its first retail stores.

[Electronista]

Many of you have seen the Burger King Windows 7 Burger by now. While an interesting idea it has a few substantial problems:

• It is region locked and only available in Japan
• It has an Enterprise price point of $17 (¥1,450)
• Has limited functionality (no cheese)

With my step-by-step guide I will show you how to:
• Get it fully functional at the Student Edition price of $4.24 (¥391)
• Run it on your native system, no hardware upgrades needed
• Unlock the region restrictions and purchase it in the US

Upgrades:
• Cheese – You will get 7 slices of American cheese free of charge (an enhancement from the Japanese edition)
• Sauce (BBQ, Sweet & Sour, Ranch or Honey Mustard) – This is an added bonus as Burger King allows one sauce per sandwich allowing you up to 4 sauces with you Windows 7 Cheeseburger
• Pickles, Tomatoes, Lettuce & Onions – Possible extra charge depending on vendor

Step 1: Purchase 4 of Burger King’s Double Cheeseburgers at the new price of $1.00 each.

Step 2: Open all 4 burgers. Designate a foundation burger and remove the top bun. Designate 2 “middle burgers” and remove both buns.

Step 3: Now this is the most difficult part of the whole hack. From the remaining burger you must discard not only the bottom bun but also the extra patty. Although this may seem unnecessary, omitting this crucial step will not produce a validated version of a Windows 7 Burger and may not be compatible with your system (this could result in possible system crashes as the amount of calories, sodium and fat could overheat your machine).

Step 4: Assemble all 4 parts beginning with the foundation, placing the four middle patties next and completing the install by placing the final patty and top bun on.

Step 5: You should now have a fully functional Burger King Windows 7 Cheeseburger. Reboot system and consume.

Happy food hacking!

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1. All the information provided on this site are for educational purposes only.The site is in no way responsible for any misuse of the information.
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3. Implementation of hacks explained by this site is sole responsibility of user and “www.eatingtheroad.blogspot.com” is not responsible for any damages caused by the hacks explained in this site.

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No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON’T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

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